Stupid things people sat at work #!

They are so hilarious, I did have to share them for people to laugh and/or smirk at the idiots of this world. Maybe you won't get half the jokes if you don't work in retail, mind. What makes it funnier is that they are all true.

May or may not have been copied from my own profile on facebook.

"Excuse me sir, where do you keep the eggs?" - While standing in front of the eggs looking at them.

"Where can I find the cigarettes?" - Upon entering the shop.

"Can I pay by cash on this?"

"No sir that till is cards only for now until it's fixed."

"Okay. Can I pay by cash though?"

"No it's not working."

"But can I use this £5 note?"

"No sir the till isn't accepting notes."

- Customer then precedes to insert his £5 note, thus breaking the till.

"Where can I find a member of staff?"

"You're speaking to one"

"I need to speak to a staff member"

"I can show you to my manager if you want..."

"No I want a staff member!"

"Do you do holidays in here?"

"No sir this is Tesco. There's a travel agent down the road though."

"How much is this loaf of bread?"

"That's not a loaf of bread sir, that's a madeira cake."

Customers are idiots.

Herp Derp Results

Results day today. Herp derp, derp herp hurr de durr derp de la derp herp herp. Derp herp? Herp a derp derp hurr durr Ima durr hurr derp. Durr herp, de derp de diddley derp. Durr, herp a derp de derp hurr.

See I would make a post about my results but it would be generic.

Enrolment is full of idiots.

Red hot pokers of irritance.

Alas, for I have not posted here for a while! What woe fortide that which doth not update!
I'm still wondering if people actually spoke like that or if it was a crude joke made by Shakespeare. I'd love it if it was a joke to be honest. Would be hilarious. But anyway. Haven't really had the time to update due to copious amounts of overtime, creative ideas up the ying yang and forays into the abyss that is Swindon.

I wouldn't be human if I didn't have aspirations - although I am adamant to deny any relation to the human race, silly things they are. Misanthropic tendencies aside, I can't help that my misty eyed dreams of careers are teetering on the naive. As in; careers I am not likely to fall into or even succeed in application. Coming from a military background, I've always wanted to serve like my father and those before him and I am on my way to apply to the Royal Navy - full application as an officer will be after my final year of college. Now, I don't hold any belief that I will get in and get past selection but still one must dream. But, I do have back ups. Good thing about being as mental as me is that I have many other careers I'd love to go in.

Journalism is one. An investigative one, just because it's something to keep my mind involved and it's rather interesting. The word 'investigative' leads right into my other, more recent idea. Of joining the police force as an investigative officer. Sounds like an awesome career.

But that's because I watch too much Luther - awesome show.

And finally, Ian is an idiot.